We hit the dirt road at 8am, determined to hit Panama City for lunch and take in some of the “Old Part” also known as Casco Viejo. By around 10:15am we had a “facilities” warning. By 10:30am we had “facilities” emergencies! Naturally “facilities” can never be found when you need them and blazing down the PanAmerican Highway (I use the term “highway” VERY, VERY loosely) we were finding nothing but roadside stands and bars. Miraculously, a truck stop appeared. Not just any truck stop, this is a famous truckstop. In fact, visitors take photos of themselves at this truck stop before grabbing some grub to go. And so, we felt obliged to do the same.
Now with bladders empty and the kids happily scarfing down beans, rice, fish, and chicken out of styrofoam containers, we were on the road again. We relied heavily on the walkie-talkies because of Chris’ efficient driving methods and the Arnold’s misfortune of constantly getting trapped behind every odd vehicle you can imagine, including flatbeds with cows drooling on our hood. We were forced to change walkie-talkie channels several times when Spanish began to dominate our frequencies.
So, we finally make it to Panama City but get stuck in crazy wild city traffic. The Derzak’s GPS and frantic walkie-talkie conversations kept us on target. When we finally broke free of the congestion, we landed in the newly renovated high-rise office building area (lovely and modern) on our way to Casco Viejo.
GPS failed us slightly and we almost cruise through another armed checkpoint. The guards have us reverse and make a turn that subsequently takes us through Chinatown and then plunges us directly into a dodgy area that does not resemble the gorgeous photos in the guide book at all.
Casco Viejo is a World Heritage site. We never quite made it past the ghetto and, to be honest, we are wondering who in their right mind would declare this a World Heritage Site! For fear of getting trapped there and missing our flight, we abandoned the plan and headed straight for the airport...
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The "nicer" part of Casco Viejo (beyond)
...just in time for another “facilities” emergency (thank Heaven the emergency didn’t happen a few minutes earlier). This time, we pull into a gas station on the road to Tocumen. The Ladies' room is locked tight but the Men’s room is open! In go all the girls, while some landscape workers stand by looking very puzzled.
Feeling home free, we speed off to the airport on the only decent highway in Panama (the one to and from the airport). We then wind up circling the service road several times, following the rental car return signs that really lead nowhere other than where our adventure began--the outside of the arrivals area.
The flight to Dulles, thankfully, was uneventful. Everyone but CJ and Caroline slept on the plane. Abby snuggled with Aunt Karen. Annie snored away with strangers. Chris and Claire caught a few Z’s against the windows. Jackie fell asleep in her math book and Lee caught flies in an aisle seat, dreaming of his First Class arrangement on the first flight.
A trip is never complete without that last, final thrill. It was about 2am when we got through customs at Dulles and headed for the exit. The men dashed ahead to collect the cars back at the hotel. A short while later, mobile’s are ringing, inquiring as to whether or not Karen happens to have another key to the car. AAA gets involved and the Derzak’s kindly stand by their friends, either out of courtesy or simply to serve as mediators if the Arnold’s need marital counseling. While we were waiting, the kids were demanding we buy bananas (because they always eat at 2am when they should be sleeping) and entertaining themselves with the fact that Abby can fit into Caroline’s book bag.
And we are all still good friends.
~ THE END ~
